Trip-Trap

Y’all, I have way too much trip-trap (that’s a Lynne Denney-ism for needless items you accumulate that at the time of purchase you think you must have or your life will not be complete or random things given to you by even more random people.) Even on my desk I realize that there are more items that I don’t use than those I do (computer- yes, faded coaster- no, old paint samples- not so much.) For instance, there is the candle in the star holder that I got in 2004 playing secret Santa at work. No I don’t like it but someone gave it to me ergo I feel compelled to keep it (yes, I obviously have some issues… no surprise there.) It has no special meaning to me, I cannot remember who gave it to me and it has become nothing more than a dust magnet.

Then there are the 7,000 pieces of trip-trap that sit on our bookcases because they were gifts… from whom I have no idea and I’m sure the person that gave it to us doesn’t remember either. It kind of reminds me of in the Bible where they mention the altar to the unknown gods… just in case they missed a god, you know??? Well I have bookcases full of unknown trip-trap just in case the giver stops by and wonders if I still have the ceramic apple with the candle inside (yes, I really do have one of those and no, it is not attractive or useful… unless of course you are the giver in which case we LOVE IT!)

It’s no coincidence that I am noticing this now as the weather warms up and the boys head home. You see I love spending time with my boys just a bit more than dusting the trip-trap I’ve accumulated over a lifetime. So while I won’t necessarily clean it out anytime soon, I will put it on the list. You know, the list titled “Things to do once the boys are no longer home”… yeah that list!

ps If you don’t know who Lynne Denney is, first- who are you? second- read this.

Learn To Let Go

Tim and I raised three boys who graduated from high school, are all in college (one already in grad school… woohoo!) and are pretty amazing men if I do say so myself. I tell you this so that hopefully you will hear what I am about to say. There are some things that you should JUST… LET… GO. Now if you are raising girls, I got nothing. Sorry! (But I have a cool friend, Annie Downs http://www.annieblogs.com/ who has an amazing blog for young women.)

When it comes to the men in your life, there are some things that you should just let go. Like hair length. Our boys could have hair as long as they wanted so long as it was clean. Seriously, if you’re afraid your friends or people at church are going to judge you because your boys have long hair, you REALLY need new friends or a new church (last time I checked, my Bible didn’t mention hair length…just sayin.) Is it going to matter in ten years that your son had long hair when he was a junior in high school? And how awesome is it going to be to show his wife-to-be those embarrassing pics! Why not let your son express some independence in a way that is safe? (I’ve yet to hear of someone getting seriously hurt by the length of his hair.) Same goes for facial hair in my book… LET IT GO!

Only one of my sons was a clothes addict. The other two, blue jeans and a tee made them happy (heck, athletic shorts and a tee made them ecstatic!) but for years I tried to force them into khaki’s and collared shirts causing us all to be unhappy. When one day my husband (who is the farthest thing possible from a clothes horse!) caused me to realize, if others don’t like what my boys have on and judge them as bad kids because of that, then I’m sorry for them because my boys are great students, grounded in their faith and just plain good people. Who cares what they wear? And just FYI, one of those non-dressers now voluntarily wears a shirt and bowtie to work every day.

When my oldest was two, my dad looked at me and said, “Pick your battles. You’ll realize how little of this will matter when he is grown.” It took us some time to grasp this but when we did, it was game on! So the next time we see you and your family, don’t worry about how long your hair is or what you have on… cause we won’t even notice.