Houston We Have A Problem

A ton of hair spray gave its life for the styles in these photos...

A ton of hair spray gave its life for the styles in these photos…

Houston we have a problem. I was at the mall yesterday and saw… stirrup pants!! Seriously people, did we learn nothing from the 80’s?? I mean what is next? Mile high hair and ginormous shoulder pads? Are we going to start wearing 4 inch jewel encrusted circles as earrings once again? The next thing you know TV will do a remake of “Dallas”…oh wait, that happened.

There were many good things brought to us by the 80’s but I hope you agree with me that stirrup pants was not one of them. Sure we can all agree that Brian Adams, Bon Jovi and The Police are all GREAT things that came out of the 80’s. Seriously what is not to love about Summer of 69, Cuts Like A Knife, Heaven, You Give Love A Bad Name, Livin On A Prayer, Don’t Stand So Close To Me, Everything Little Thing She Do Is Magic… I mean REALLY?!?!? This was (and still is!) great stuff people and I haven’t even mentioned Jon Bon Jovi and Sting who STILL look fine.

Oh and it wasn’t just 80’s music, there were also the movies. We’re talking “Top Gun”, “Dead Poets Society”, “Field of Dreams”, “The Breakfast Club”, “E.T.”, “Terms of Endearment”, “The Big Chill”, “Raiders of the Lost Ark”. And don’t forget “Out of Africa”, “Rain Man”, “Platoon” and “Steel Magnolias” (who didn’t go to at least one blush and bashful wedding?) There are far too many great movies to even begin to name them all and isn’t it funny how just the name of a movie can take you right back to a place and time? “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”… anyone? anyone? anyone?

Oh I could go on and on with everything from food to cars to great moments in sports but I think you guys smell what I’m cooking! The 80’s were a monumental decade with some amazing innovations and events. So let’s all make a pact not to allow fashion to even TRY to bring back those things we are still trying to forget… you’ve seen the photos, it was not pretty people, not pretty.

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Say Hi To My Mom For Me!

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There is nothing worse than uncertainty… the phone call that says there may be a problem with your mom but they won’t know until they run a test in the morning. What to do? Drive across the state to sit and wait just in case? Or stay home in hopes that it is nothing. It’s especially troubling when you’re also packing your son to leave in two days for a semester abroad and you are torn. Go be with your mom or stay and get your son off? It’s not a fun or easy decision…it’s one that no one wants to make.

I’ve always been close to my mom, especially since we share a lot of similarities not the least of which is a tremendous love for reading and the beach (and yes, reading at the beach is HEAVEN to both of us!!) My boys will tell you that she is the best cook in the world and that her hoe cakes are the greatest food known to man. My mom never meets a stranger and shares Tim’s love of talking to people. I cannot even begin to count the number of times we’ve been in line at a store and my mom will start a conversation with a total stranger… yes a TOTAL STRANGER people!!

Mom also possesses great genetics. She looks way younger than she is and always has. It was at my very first wedding shower in 1989 in a receiving line at the front door with my mom and Tim’s mom that I learned firsthand what it’s like to have a beautiful, young looking mom. I was talking with a friend during a lull when a woman walked up to my mom and said, “You MUST be the bride!” I spun around so fast my shoulder pads almost flew out my sleeves! My first instinct was to march over there and firmly say that I was the bride but then I noticed my mom. She’d never looked younger or more beautiful as she was laughing and correcting the kind lady. For many years people asked if my mom was my sister and truth be told, I was flattered for her (and I like to think it bodes well for me too…good genes are hereditary, right?!?!)

So in the midst of all this swirling in my mind about should I stay or should I go (name that band….The Clash), I did what I always do in these situations. I called my mom. I knew I’d be able to tell from her voice how she really was and if I needed to go be with her (which I didn’t and she is totally fine!) Yes, I’m thankful for many things this holiday season but at the very top of my list is that I can still pick up the phone and talk with my mom. So if you’re ever in line at a store and a beautiful brunette old enough to be my mom starts talking to you, say hi to my mom for me!!

Book Buying Ban

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We’ve discussed that I have a problem, a serious BOOK problem. Well, apparently it is worse than we thought. I realized last Wednesday that I bought a book that was already on my bookshelf. No big deal you say? Well if I told you how many times this has happened in just the last year, you would agree with me that I do indeed have a BIG PROBLEM.

So I’ve decided how to punish myself…. I mean solve this problem. For the next 365 days I’m imposing a Book Buying Ban on myself. I am not allowed to purchase a single book. Nope, not a one unless I read every book in my house first. What you think that sounds easy? Sure for most people but you have to remember I have a wall of bookcases in my living room and it is FILLED with books that I have not read. Plus there may or may not be another rather large bookcase in the bonus room that is half full of books that are unread by me. Ooops!!

I’m going to allow myself to get books as gifts (generous of me don’t you think??) but I’m even going to put a hiatus on library books (lots of books to read!!) It’s a little bit scary because the book of the century may come out any day now and I’ll be dying to read it but this is my final decision, no purchasing books even if they are on sale or used. YIKES! This may be difficult but I can always add to my “books to buy” list and go on a HUGE buying spree next November… please tell me books go on sale for black Friday?!?!?!?

They’re Not Pants

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I’m constantly amazed by the females in this world who think leggings are pants. Just to clear this up people, leggings are not pants. I’m not sure who told these ladies they are pants but they have been seriously misled! I’m perfectly fine for you to workout in these pants or even wear them in the privacy of your own home but at the grocery store? Really? I’m buying food…

Now there is no problem with wearing leggings if your top comes well below your read end. That is how leggings were intended to be worn (don’t argue with me, remember I had a very lucrative career in fashion design.) Long sweaters, tunics, butt-covering tops… yep, all good with leggings. But when you walk out of your house with a short top over your leggings, I have no choice but to assume that either you don’t have a mirror or you have no friends or you were accosted and your long shirt was stolen (stick ‘em up and give me your long top!) Not only do I not want to see every contour of your crotch but when you bend over to get the 24 pack of toilet paper and I can tell you are wearing a blue thong… Houston, there is a problem!!

Maybe it’s because I’m the mother of boys that I am more sensitive to this issue. Or it could because I want the girls in my Bible study to know that dressing modest is hottest. But what it really boils down to for me, is the realization that too many women just don’t have anyone in their life willing to tell them truth… so that leaves me. LADIES, LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS! Cover your bum and the world will thank you. Whew!! My job here is done…