Yes Sir, He’s My Baby

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Man this global warming is really getting bad. We’re expecting our second winter storm in less than three weeks here in the Deep South. Last time it didn’t quite go as planned and blasted an un-expecting Atlanta area while it barely hit here in Augusta. Frankly it was disappointing! If they’re going to cancel school, I’m at least hoping for beautiful white yard… lasting longer than 10:00am.

Anyway, this time looks real and they’re saying ICE! So I did what any good southern wife does… I immediately made a to-do list for my husband. (What?!?! You thought I went to the grocery store? No, I already have Funyuns, cheese dip, guacamole, tortilla chips and ice cream… we’re set there.) You see I learn from mistakes. They closed the schools last time FOR TWO WHOLE DAYS and with hubby being an administrator in our local high school, naturally he was home… with NOTHING to do. Remember this is the guy who has wheels on his butt. He has to have something to do. I on the other hand am perfectly content to sit down and read… for hours… and hours… and hours. Tim can’t even sit down and just watch TV. If he is watching TV he is also answering email, surfing the web and who knows what else! So to say these two days were a strain on our marriage is putting it, ummmm…. mildly.

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. So this time I’m prepared. I’ve put together an extensive list of all the closets that need organizing, knives that need sharpening and things that need deep cleaning. I’ve even thought of a few things I’d like built… just in case. Yep, this girl does one thing well, she learn from her mistakes. I dearly love my husband and I want nothing more than for him to be happy….so another big bad winter storm? Bring it on… this time my list is ready!!

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What A Difference A Day Makes

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What a difference a day makes… Monday they claimed the storm of the century was on its way and would hit Augusta hard early Tuesday. Well it didn’t…. hit early that is! It finally got to Augusta close to 10:00pm. Now the other side of the state is a whole nother story but we’ll not get into that! (reason #4,269 why I’m glad we live here.)

Snow always brings back fond memories of when the boys were little and at the slightest mention of flurries, they began to pray for a snow day. Even if there wasn’t enough snow to play in for more than ten minutes they longed for just enough snow to close school. We’d get up bright and early (please explain to me WHY they could get up at the crack of dawn on days they DIDN’T have school??) and dig out all of the jackets, hats, gloves and boots we could find, then begin to layer the kids up until they could hardly move. (How many of you just flashed back to the scene in The Christmas Story where the little brother is so bundled up that he can barely walk much less play?) Naturally they would head out to play with guns a blazing and gradually shed the layers as they warmed up. When they came back in Tim and I would then have to head back out with them for project winter clothes retrieval. (which by the way was rarely successful…)

This year there are no boys at home to play in the snow. So poor Tim is out wandering the neighborhood in the snow… all by himself… looking for adventure. If he’s gone for more than a couple of hours I guess I’ll go check on him. Well, maybe I’ll only give him an hour before I head out… it is pretty cold out there. And he better still have all his winter clothes on!!

Thank You Google!

Google taught me to cook. You see, I didn’t take Home Economics in high school. Nope, I thought it way more prudent to take PE and weight lifting… in the same semester. Hello, there were far more guys in those classes and at the time that held more importance than cooking. (Apparently I was pretty good at figuring out the least useful skills in life and pursuing them.) Plus when you were the only girl in the class, the coach said you didn’t have to work out if you’d keep his grade book. Ummm, OK!! Therefore, I’m certain it will come as no surprise to anyone that I was never known for my cooking ability.

Now my lack of cooking skills became apparent quite early in my life. There was the great pudding debacle when I was 10. Who doesn’t love some pistachio instant pudding? I clearly followed the directions putting in two cups of milk and stirring until mixed. Eight hours later when it was still soupy as all get out, I calmly showed my mom the measuring cup I had filled twice and dumped into the powered pudding. She just as calmly pointed out that it was a 2 cup measure i had used and not a 1 cup measure… thereby doubling the milk. Ooops!!

Not long after, I decided to prove I really could cook this time making cherry Jell-O (yes I realize pudding nor Jell-O is cooking but you tell my 10 year old self that.) Who can mess up Jell-O right?!?! I mean it’s water and powder people, surely any idiot can make Jell-O. It was like a chemistry experiment in my kitchen that day with all my planning and preparation. I was certain it would be the best Jell-O ever and was patting myself on the back when after only 30 minutes, my Jell-O was set. Man I was good! I proudly showed mom my success and we tasted it… ummmm, it was not very good. Again mom began to walk through the steps with me when I realized it didn’t say “add 1 cup hot water OR 1 cup cold water” no it clearly said “add 1 cup hot water AND 1 cup cold water”… it was at this point I realized paying attention to detail might not be my strong suit.

It’s here that I tell you once I was married and began cooking on a regular basis, I really got my game on and could whip up a healthy, delightful meal in no time… except that didn’t happen. No, I’ve been cooking for 24 years and until I retired almost 2 years ago, it was just so-so on the food front. I could whip up a mean Hamburger Helper meal or stick a frozen lasagna in the oven with the best of ‘em but not even close to gourmet. (The good news is that I served a salad with every meal so my sons grew up healthy albeit with vary untested palettes.) But now that I have retired, I have to say I’ve gotten quite good in the kitchen. I dare say, I even found that I really love cooking. Maybe it has something to do with me pretending I’m on a cooking show whenever I make anything or it could just be that I have plenty of time for it now but it is probably the fact that one can Google any food and get detailed directions that even I can follow. Whatever the reason, I just want all to know that I’ve finally begun to conquer the kitchen and now make a pretty mean risotto. Yes, I said risotto… bring it on Chef Ramsey!