Great Masters Weather Watch

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With Masters Week only days away, those who will be in town and be at the tournament (no, I don’t have extra tickets) begin what I lovingly call the Great Masters WEATHER WATCH. (There seriously is a person at the Masters whose job it is to watch the weather and keep everyone aware of what may or may not happen… they’d never give me that job because my sense of humor might not be funny to them “TORNADO right over the first tee… not!”) It is so funny how much news coverage the weather gets leading up to this one week every year. Forecasts are all over Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and every other form of social media you can think of. And the worst part is that I find myself studying them like they are the key to winning the lottery… not that I play the lottery… not very much.
Here’s the thing, when you arrive at an outdoor event at the un-godly hour of 6:30am (insert big eyed surprised emoji here… y’all I really need emojis on my blog cause I talk better with them) it is typically a lot colder than it will be when you reach a more normal time of say 1:00pm… so you need to know several things: shorts or pants? Umbrella or jacket? Tank or sweater? (Cause you know it’s all about the outfit!) If you are female you also need to know about the humidity so you can decide if you want your hair pulled up or risk looking like Rosanna Rosannadanna ten minutes after you get there (don’t act like you don’t remember her.) People, there seriously have been years when you got a massive sunburn during the practice rounds and darn near frostbite on the Saturday of tournament! The good news is that even when they get the weather wrong, there are these wonderful little shops all over the property that sell anything you might need to combat cold, rain, or sun (love those peeps!)
I can tell you this much, the local television people who get the most airtime Masters week are not the sports guys like you would think… nope, it is TOTALLY the weather guys. And when it comes to getting it right, all I have to say after the weather swings we’ve had this year is GOOD LUCK!

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My Presidential Platform

Raise your hand if you LIKE to spring forward?? That’s what I thought, I see NO HANDS RAISED. I can honestly say that when we spring forward, it is my LEAST favorite time of the year. Seriously, it feels like I have jet lag for an entire week. Now I get it that we all like more daylight and with the winter we’ve had this year, it’s especially welcome. But why can’t someone come up with a better way to do this. Unfortunately I am no time continuum expert but surely our government has done a study on this (I mean we have studies on why dogs bark for goodness sake, so why not this?!?!)

Since this is not my area of expertise, the best I could come up with was to subtract ten minutes from each day for six days so that the change happens more slowly and doesn’t screw up my sleep as much. Seriously, it’s be SO MUCH gentler if it happened gradually. This situation has bothered me so much, that I have contemplated running for president on this principle alone. I think I’d have a pretty good shot… especially when you consider there was no social media when I was in my, ummmm, more adventurous stage (good wording there huh?!?!) I might also have to run with the side slogan of “you can’t prove that”… What??? You think that might do more damage than good… well we’ll just see about that. In the mean time, I already need a nap.

Just Between You and Me

The national news is a curious thing. I just learned that today from Jacksonville FL to Atlanta GA it is going to be colder than Alaska. Yep, the deep south is colder than the northern-most state in the union… so Al Gore, tell me more about this Global Warming thing you shared right after you told us about inventing the internet?

We all say things that we later wish we could take back. Often, I find myself feeling sorry for people in the public eye because they make one stupid comment and it haunts them until they die. I mean they think they are talking “off the record” (just between you and me, there is no “off the record”… there is also no “just between you and me”.) I watch the news, I know the government and the entire population of South Dakota read my every text, email and tweet. Secretly it makes me feel like a serious author to have that many consistent readers. But who in their right mind thinks anything can be kept private in this multimedia day and age. You can’t even text your best friend and expect it to remain private (you hearing me Justin Bieber?)

I feel sorry for the youth of today. When I was a teen I could mess up and not have it documented on fourteen different social media sites… not that I ever messed up. Nope, never ever messed up and if anyone says I did, well I have stories on them too! So now whenever anyone says to me after imparting some earth shattering news “but don’t tell a soul!” I feel the need to look them in the eye and with all seriousness say, “But it’s okay that I just posted this on Facebook/Twitter/my blog… right?!?!”

My iPhone Has Ruined Me

Oh it didn’t happen all at once, it changed bit by bit without me even realizing it. I can’t begin to count how many times I have hit the spacebar on my laptop twice expecting to see a period appear. Hasn’t happened yet. I also expect my computer to auto-correct my typos like my phone does. Nope, that’s not gonna happen either. When I hear certain noises or think I feel a vibration, I grab my phone like it’s on fire. I am hard pressed to travel anywhere without my phone. I mean, I know where my sons live, but am not quite sure of where to turn unless my phone tells me. When you let someone constantly tell you where to go, you don’t ever quite learn the actual route… oops!! Email, text, internet, social media, games, GPS… all from one little phone. I now realize that I may have allowed my phone to become too big a part of my life.

I remember just a few short years ago when I didn’t even have a cell phone. I was one of the last hold-outs because y’all, I hate talking on the phone, so why would I carry one around with me??? I finally allowed hubby to get me one and realized that it was great… for texting! I mean, change your life when you can contact someone and get your message across without ever having to have a conversation. YES PLEASE!! But there were side effects, it was like Pavlov’s dogs, every time you hear that sound you grab your phone to see who, what, where. I mean craziness found my life people. It was like I was addicted to a sound… are you kidding me? Who knew a sound could take over your life. But people IT DID.

Oh there are great things about a cell phone, like being able to facetime with my boys whenever and wherever. Having the Bible always handy in a thousand different versions. The constant conversation I have going with my Ansley. Being able to evaluate the Miss American contestants in real time with my mom. And on, and on, and on. But when I sit in a room full of people and watch someone JUMP up to run grab their phone every time they hear a sound, I cannot help but think how far we’ve come (sarcasm people, sarcasm!) I mean we are so connected to people with our phones that we can’t fully connect when we are actually together in person.

So I’ve decided to put my phone down and not pick it up again………… until it rings, vibrates or buzzes that is. Cause who am I kidding? I’m addicted to technology just like everyone else and I’m not afraid to admit it. Now, you’ll have to excuse me while I go check my phone.