Winter Storms and Funyuns

Matt Snowman

So there is a winter storm warning for Augusta starting tomorrow at 11:00am and ending Wednesday at 1:00pm. They’re saying that there is a chance that we will get one to three inches of snow… of course there is also a chance that I will be named Queen of the World and these chances are about the same. Am I the only person who has noticed that when a winter storm is predicted in this area you can be assured of one thing- no winter storm! Oh we’ve had winter storms here but they never come when predicted. Nope, they prefer to sneak up and catch everyone unaware kind of like appendicitis.

For those of you not in the south, I should clue you in to the fact that when a winter storm warning is issued you can be guaranteed of one thing- bread and milk will be sold out in every store within a twenty mile radius. I mean, if there is no power, southerners immediately make plans to fix and eat the age old Milk and Bread casserole…not really but it might be true because I can think of no other reason people would feel the need to run out and by these items. I get it that you can keep your milk cold in a snow storm and you can eat bread in a snow storm but does anyone really plan to consume that much of either one?!?! And why is there no run on the really good stuff you can eat without power when it’s cold like ice cream, chocolate, Funyuns (yeah, I said Funyuns!), chex mix, salami, redi whip, cheese, s’mores… right?? Why eat milk or bread when you can have this stuff?? So, if the storm does hit, y’all get out your snow boots and come on over… cause you can help me eat all of the good stuff I’ve stock piled for just such an occasion.

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