Then I Found This…

And then I found this:

I attended a Women’s event at my church recently with my friend Jan. I had such a nice time being with girls! I really enjoyed the talk that Wendy gave. It was on what is important when everything is important. It is so funny how in the blink of an eye, the things that are important in your life change. I found her speech very encouraging and uplifting and when I realized I knew one of her children and what a delight he was…I knew that she truly knew what she was talking about.”

Tara Salley Update August 19, 2009

I don’t even know what to say. I remember being asked to speak at this event at my church. It was to be the first Girls Night Out and they wanted me to talk. I said sure and thought “I’m certain I can come up with something to say to the 15 to 20 women who will be there.” Then I arrived and there were 200 women …. seriously there were 200 women! I wanted to ask “Do you people not have a life? It’s a Thursday night in July and you have nothing better to do? You know me, why would you want to hear me speak?” I got through it just fine because y’all, I like to talk and can pretty much talk about anything especially my love for Jesus! Of course later as I left I was thinking that it was a complete wreck! Did I touch on everything I wanted to? Did I talk too fast? Was there food in my teeth? Did I speak clearly? Was it enough of a funny/informative balance? And the worst, did it even make sense?

Then four years later I find this in old emails I got caught up in (don’t judge, you know it’s happened to you before) and you realize “I did nothing, God did everything.”  That is the truth- then, now, forever. How funny we are when we think we actually do something for God. HA! It’s finding nuggets like this that remind me I am but a speck of dust (I like to think a speck of dust that communicates well, but a speck of dust no less!!) Why do we even try to do things ourselves when God is sitting there waiting…. simply waiting for us to remember not only does He have this, but it’s going to be REALLY good if we just get out of the way.

Tara, thank you for writing this and hearing not what I had to say but what God wanted you to hear. And my sweet friend Carol Spires, thanks for passing this on.

Advertisements

30 Years And Counting…

ImageImage

We’ve been friends for 30 years… 30 YEARS PEOPLE!! That is a really long time to continue liking someone who is not family and we not only like each other, we truly love each other and cannot imagine doing life without the others. We’ve definitely had our share of STUFF- cancer, divorce, career changes, infertility, marriage issues, faith crisis, children and so on but the one constant? Unfailing love and support.

It started innocently enough, we were at cheerleading camp the summer before heading into our junior year of high school. Each room was a suite for four people so my best friend and I looked around to find two unsuspecting souls others to share a room with us. Our eyes locked with theirs and a beautiful friendship was born. I know most of you found your dearest and best friends in college. Maybe you were sorority sisters or were random roommates/hall mates but we are part of the smallest friend group in the world- lifelong friends from high school. We didn’t go to the same college, in fact we set off to three different schools yet we not only stayed best friends we became closer with every year.

Once all the kids were old enough (we have 11 amongst the 4 of us) we decided it was time for some girl trips. (I’m sure when you think of girl trips you think of wild, crazy, not family friendly times but we are a different breed… no, we are NOT boring, just different thank you) We can spend an entire weekend watching movies, eating amazing food, playing cards and talking, lots and lots of talking. I use the term “watching movies” loosely because we’ve started hundreds of movies on these trips and yet only Shawn and I tend to see the endings. I don’t care if we start the movie at 8:00pm, Kay and Lynne are just not going to make it to the end. It’s like it is engrained in their brains to release melatonin and fall asleep before the ending. I’m seriously not making this up people!! Inevitably breakfast is spent with Shawn and me recapping the movie for the sleepy heads sometimes having to start from almost the beginning (Lynne has actually fallen asleep before the opening credits finished but don’t tell her I told you, K?) Is it weird? Yes, but it’s just what we do.

Now that the kids are mostly in high school and up, we’ve gotten more creative with our trips. When you have four people splitting one room you can afford to go places that are super nice like the St Regis or the Ritz-Carlton (feel free to comp our room hotel people) and that is exactly what we do. We’ve started working our way through the east coast Ritz-Carlton’s one by one always staying at club level. Why club level you ask? One word, MACAROONS. Yep, Lynne is our self-proclaimed travel agent and she is in LOVE with macaroons. (I think she single handedly created the great macaroon shortage in Key Biscayne Florida in the summer of 2012 but I can’t prove it.) Another perk of staying at club level at the Ritz? ADULT ONLY POOL. Hello!! We’re there to enjoy a break from our family so it’s the perfect place to hang out and what else, talk.

So ladies, as we celebrate the 30th anniversary of being the Awesome Foursome, I want to take this time to thank you. Thank you for not sharing with my kids all the trouble I may or may not have gotten into, times that I made a fool of myself in front of a boy and most importantly, how gifted I am with a roll of toilet paper and a few trees. Remember, I know your secrets too!

We All Like To Talk

Image

Shocking truth but like most women, I like to talk… a lot. Sometimes I don’t even really have anything to say but still I talk.

 Remember that Run DMC rap song from the 80’s

You talk too much   You never shut up   I said, “You talk too much”   Homeboy you never shut up

 You talk about people, you don’t even know   And you talk about places, you never go   You talk about your girl, from head to toe   I said, “Your mouth’s moving fast and your brain’s moving slow”

 I’m afraid I knew 10 girls who could have inspired that song. (After all the thriving metropolis of Carrollton GA was filled with fodder for rap stars in the late 80’s.) Anyway, I know for certain there are moments in my life when I am THAT PERSON. I’ve been chatting with someone before and I could tell the other person had checked out. It was SO tempting to just start spouting random nonsense. Did I start talking about the alien landing I had just witnessed? No, I wanted to…. but I didn’t.  Usually I just stop talking all together and mark that person off my friend list. (Ok, not really- I just wanted to.) The truth here was that I was most likely spouting random drivel and it was time for me to just… be… quiet.

 Hear me out, cause this is important stuff. When we are talking with another person we are being given an opportunity to get to know that person. To hear about likes, dislikes, habits, family, work, any number of things but unfortunately our tendency is to spend more time thinking about what we’re going to say next rather than hearing what is being said.

 On the other hand, everyone has THAT friend who is a really good listener and whenever something happens you can’t wait to talk with them. Why? Because you know that they care. God in His infinite wisdom showed me that being a good listener is a gift. You are saying to someone else “You matter to me and I want to know what you have to say.” It made me think about those I’m closest to. They’re the ones who listen to me when I need it and who I listen to when they need it. I tease my Ansley because there have been girl’s weekends when I only talked for 30 minutes the entire 3 days because she had so much to say! (I may exaggerate, I’m sure I talked for an hour) Funny part is those were some of my favorite weekends.

Don’t get me wrong, I still talk way too much (and I have friends that would wholeheartedly agree) but I try to remember in the crazy, busy, plugged in world we all need a good friend who listens more than she talks… most of the time anyway! Truth? We don’t all like to talk….we all like TO BE HEARD.

 “To answer before listening- that is folly and shame.” Proverbs 18:13

(Yes, yes I did…. I started with Run DMC and ended with scripture… BAM!!)