I’m Now A Professional Yard Crasher

YC Collage

So last September I get a text from my Ansley in Nashville to let me know that she has just been chosen to be on DIY’s Yard Crashers…. WHAT?!?! And can I come up ASAP to help? Well of course I said YES! (ROAD TRIP!!) Seriously, I know if I can just get a break, I am meant to be a TV star. (Why me you ask? Well, first I can talk about anything anytime to anyone and second, they are really good with hair & make-up so they can make anyone beautiful.) But I digress… back to Yard Crashers.

For those of you that don’t know, the show is basically this: TV host (who is a real contractor) scopes out a local hardware store to find someone there who needs a new back yard. He goes to their house, assess the yard, tells them to call some friends to help, then comes back with a local construction team and incredible plans to make the yard AMAZING!! Then the yard is transformed in two days. Yep, I said TWO DAYS!! You cannot even imagine what can be done in a back yard with 6 TV people, 5 contractors, 3 stone guys, 2 home owners, about 9 friends and two days. Truly crazy!!

They took my friend’s completely useless back yard that they NEVER, EVER used and made it the most used room in the house. But it was not easy! I may be permanently scarred from this but it was so worth it. After all I can now put ALL THIS on my resume: deck sander, railing/fence/gate painter, street scraper, mulch hauler/spreader, pebble layer, champion shovel user, water passer-outer, trash picker-upper, mud boot buyer, sod roller, not to mention antique wood waxer. (Oh yeah, you are wanting to hire me right now aren’t you???)

I will confess I worked harder than I’ve ever worked in my life and had no idea that this many muscles could all be sore at one time. There is nothing like a little manual labor to put things in perspective. The professionals that worked with us (shout out to Brandon Nutt Construction, Franklin, TN… whoop! whoop!) were not only amazing at their craft but unbelievably patient people. Imagine having to do quality work quickly and with a bunch of untrained, unskilled, unruly friends while TV cameras rolled. Yep, those guys deserve a HUGE reward for putting up with all of us.

So, in the end how’d it turn out? Well you won’t see me with my own TV show anytime soon (I know, I worked my razor sharp wit while muddy and sweaty but they must have missed it…their loss) but that back yard? It looks like a dream. Once the plans were laid out, I thought nice but when it was actually completed, it was like something you only see on TV… oh, wait, that’s exactly what it is!!

Before: (You really can’t tell how sloped the yard is from this pic so trust me!!)

YC Before

During:

YC During

After:

YC After

Yes, I’m a pretty skilled worker at this point… but you’d have to pay me a ton to do it all again!!

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The Great Pillow Crisis of 2014

So Tim had not been sleeping great on our mattress. And I’m sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact our mattress and Tim are both old. In lieu of shelling out a small fortune on a new king sized mattress set, I did what every good wife does, I polled my friends. My Ansley mentioned that they inherited an “older” mattress set and in order to make it work for them, they went to the local warehouse store and got a mattress topper for around $100. People, that was right up my alley.

I moseyed along to our local warehouse store and found one for less than $110… go me!! Well mission accomplished, Tim swears he slept better that night than he had in years, so yay Tim! Me on the other hand slept worse than I have in years… yikes! After a few nights of really trying to convince Tim and myself that I was sleeping fine, I realized that it was my memory foam pillow coupled with my new memory foam mattress topper keeping me from sleeping. Well before I go any further, I have to tell you that I am THAT GIRL. You know the one who takes her pillow EVERYWHERE? No matter how stupid she looks in the lobby of the Ritz or St Regis holding her pillow in what she has just realized is a ratty, faded old pillow case. When I traveled for work, I packed my pillow before I packed my clothes. I didn’t care how I looked as long as I slept well. My pillow has yet to miss a girls trip, family vacation, wedding, or any other overnight I go on. So this is a really big deal that I now have to find a new pillow (to be honest, I’d rather go swimsuit shopping on NATIONAL TELEVISION!! It’s really, really bad people!)

The good news? We have approximately one hundred pillows spread amongst the beds in our house (ok, maybe there’s only sixteen and I don’t really know why I have 3 or 4 full size pillows on each of the boys beds but frankly right now I’m too tired to care.) I’m on about night six of trying and so far no luck. But I have hope. Either I will find the perfect pillow, or I will be so tired that I will cease to care. Who knows, maybe this is God’s way of breaking me of my pillow dependence… one way or the other something’s gonna give and chances are it won’t be Tim or the mattress topper.