Monkeys and Muskrats

What is this world coming to? First Justin Bieber gets arrested for DWI and drag racing then I find out that Captain and Tennille are divorcing after forty years of marriage. You mean that love will not keep them together?!?!

Now anyone surprised by the first news needs to wake-up! If you know who Justin Bieber is you saw this coming miles away. Seriously, once the whole monkey thing happened in Germany I knew an arrest for something was imminent. This guy has been spiraling out of control for far too long and it seems no one in his life cares enough about him to do anything. Enough said about him, I pray he gets his act together before irreparable damage is done.

Now hearing about Captain and Tennille divorcing… WHAT?!?! I grew up LOVING the Captain and Tennille. Way back when I was in grade school, I remember going to get my hair cut just like Tennille’s (stop it, I swear it was in style at one time…) Who wasn’t in love with the quirky couple who sang things like “Muskrat Love”, “Do That To Me One More Time” and “Butterscotch Castle”? Looking back most of their songs could be appropriately placed under “things that make you go hmmmmm.” Now I fully realize that it was a different time and place but I really do have a hard time imagining there ever being a time when loving like muskrats seemed like a good idea. Why not naked mole rats? Or honey badgers? Nope, the Captain obviously overcome by his love for her, must have looked at Tennille one day and said, “I love you like one muskrat loves another!” and she obviously was impressed. Obviously!

Unfortunately, as we are finding out, even when its Muskrat Suzie and Muskrat Sam muskrat love must not last, he must have done that to her one too many times and love will not keep them together. It’s sad but true people, all good things must come to an end even the 1970’s love stories and bell bottom jeans. The next thing you know someone will say Sonny and Cher didn’t last…

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My Boi Kittle

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I gave birth to three sons, but in reality we have a fourth son. He came into our family when he was about seven years old and not matter what we do, we cannot get him to leave! Yeah, this is not a “Blind Side” kind of story. Nope, this it’s more like Eddie Haskell from Leave it to Beaver…I kid, I kid! It’s really like Fred and Barney from The Flintstones. Two guys who are good separate but better (and full of trouble!) together.

Will Kittle (Kittle in my house since i already have a Will) played soccer at the YMCA with Luke when they were little boys. They became fast friends who despite going to different schools until college, remain best friends to this day (I like to think Kittle is Luke’s Lynne… except they break more stuff and eat more food!) So as is want to happen, over the years of the boys being together, he just became family. I can’t even begin to count the nights he spent at my house nor the meals he’s shared with us and vice versa at the Kittle house. So much time together that both my other two boys are almost as close to him as Luke is.

Now don’t misunderstand, it has not always been smooth sailing with these two. Oh no! There was a time amidst broken school bus windows, destroyed furniture and conversations with the youth pastor about their latest “incident” at church when I thought I would pull their hair out if they didn’t calm down and straighten up! But not only did they straighten up, Kittle and Luke have become fine young men who are both excelling at Georgia Tech (yes, Ga Tech even though for most of his life, Kittle, bled the red and black of the University of Georgia BullDawgs!)

I love the fact that even if Kittle is only home a few hours, we get a visit. Heck, he comes by to visit whether Luke is here or not. Like I said, he’s our fourth and cheapest son… we’ve yet to pay a dime for his college tuition! Now food on the other hand…

30 Years And Counting…

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We’ve been friends for 30 years… 30 YEARS PEOPLE!! That is a really long time to continue liking someone who is not family and we not only like each other, we truly love each other and cannot imagine doing life without the others. We’ve definitely had our share of STUFF- cancer, divorce, career changes, infertility, marriage issues, faith crisis, children and so on but the one constant? Unfailing love and support.

It started innocently enough, we were at cheerleading camp the summer before heading into our junior year of high school. Each room was a suite for four people so my best friend and I looked around to find two unsuspecting souls others to share a room with us. Our eyes locked with theirs and a beautiful friendship was born. I know most of you found your dearest and best friends in college. Maybe you were sorority sisters or were random roommates/hall mates but we are part of the smallest friend group in the world- lifelong friends from high school. We didn’t go to the same college, in fact we set off to three different schools yet we not only stayed best friends we became closer with every year.

Once all the kids were old enough (we have 11 amongst the 4 of us) we decided it was time for some girl trips. (I’m sure when you think of girl trips you think of wild, crazy, not family friendly times but we are a different breed… no, we are NOT boring, just different thank you) We can spend an entire weekend watching movies, eating amazing food, playing cards and talking, lots and lots of talking. I use the term “watching movies” loosely because we’ve started hundreds of movies on these trips and yet only Shawn and I tend to see the endings. I don’t care if we start the movie at 8:00pm, Kay and Lynne are just not going to make it to the end. It’s like it is engrained in their brains to release melatonin and fall asleep before the ending. I’m seriously not making this up people!! Inevitably breakfast is spent with Shawn and me recapping the movie for the sleepy heads sometimes having to start from almost the beginning (Lynne has actually fallen asleep before the opening credits finished but don’t tell her I told you, K?) Is it weird? Yes, but it’s just what we do.

Now that the kids are mostly in high school and up, we’ve gotten more creative with our trips. When you have four people splitting one room you can afford to go places that are super nice like the St Regis or the Ritz-Carlton (feel free to comp our room hotel people) and that is exactly what we do. We’ve started working our way through the east coast Ritz-Carlton’s one by one always staying at club level. Why club level you ask? One word, MACAROONS. Yep, Lynne is our self-proclaimed travel agent and she is in LOVE with macaroons. (I think she single handedly created the great macaroon shortage in Key Biscayne Florida in the summer of 2012 but I can’t prove it.) Another perk of staying at club level at the Ritz? ADULT ONLY POOL. Hello!! We’re there to enjoy a break from our family so it’s the perfect place to hang out and what else, talk.

So ladies, as we celebrate the 30th anniversary of being the Awesome Foursome, I want to take this time to thank you. Thank you for not sharing with my kids all the trouble I may or may not have gotten into, times that I made a fool of myself in front of a boy and most importantly, how gifted I am with a roll of toilet paper and a few trees. Remember, I know your secrets too!

That Boy of Mine

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Life with three boys has never been dull. They all three have such different personalities and bring something different to the mix. One of my sons (who shall remain nameless!) had the most, uh, vivid personality shall we say?!? I clearly remember the day when he was just under two and we were at Sam’s Club in Atlanta. He was definitely less than thrilled to be going grocery shopping and decided to let me know. I set him in the buggy and as we walked into the store he began yelling at the top of his little lungs, “I WANT MY MOMMY!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!” over and over and over and over… y’all I was dying!! Here I was a young and dumb mom, knowing we were in a big city and thinking they are going to call the police to come take my child! I kept calmly saying, “I am your mommy. I am your mommy.” and then, just like that, SQUIRREL!! He suddenly stopped yelling and started looking around acting like all was normal. I. Was. Dying. I’m sure my heart didn’t stop racing for hours!

That wasn’t the last time he employed his “watch me freak out mom” tactics. We were again out in public (yes, you’d think I would have learned about taking him in public!) This time I had to fuss at him about running off. I sternly corrected him when he grabbed his thighs with his fat little hands and began backing away from me yelling, “Don’t beat me! Don’t beat me!” OH…MY…WORD. You would think I beat him on a regular basis, which I didn’t but at that moment I may or may not have wanted to! Of course, I began to freak out until I looked at his face and realized he was LAUGHING as he yelled this! I can’t even. This little stinker got me again even though he wasn’t quite three. I knew then that if I survived raising him, I was going to be able to do anything.

I’d like to tell you those were the only times he did something like that but I’d be lying to you. He, unfortunately for me, has my sarcasm along with my sick sense of humor and quick wit which he never lets me forget! I finally made peace with the fact that this child was going to be trouble when he was four. Not sure what had happened, but I looked at him and said, “Don’t lie to me.” He looked back at me with that sweet angelic face and said, “But Mommy, I lie to you all the time.” Yes friends, I knew right then it was going to be an interesting ride and he has yet to disappoint.