Consistently Inconsistent

Only one more full day of winter… we can do this people, we CAN DO THIS. This year, more than any other, I have craved spring with all that it entails: sunshine, breezes, budding flowers & trees, even the anticipation of pollen and bugs don’t bother me. It has seemed like a LOOOOOONG winter this year… almost never ending at times. Needless to say I’m not very happy with Mother Nature (yeah, I’m talking to you MN!!)

Know why this has seemed like the longest winter in recorded history?? It’s because Mother Nature didn’t play nice… at all. If she were being graded there would undoubtedly be a comment on the bottom that said, “Does not play well with others.” It’s one thing for the high temperature to get steadily lower day by day and then at some point to begin getting steadily higher. I can handle that but what is not right is to go from an icy high of 32 to a tantalizing high of 70 within six days and that didn’t just happen once this year, but over and over and over. I don’t appreciate being teased like that and you are lucky that I didn’t tattle on you MN. Seriously, the most consistent thing this winter? Being INCONSISTENT!!

But I’m willing to make up and try again MN, all you have to do is promise it won’t be another summer of one hundred straight days of anything. We’ll take some rain, some really high temps, some sunshine and also some glorious spring & summer days. You do this and I PROMISE not to ever again bring up the way you dropped the ball this winter. Deal?!?!?

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My Presidential Platform

Raise your hand if you LIKE to spring forward?? That’s what I thought, I see NO HANDS RAISED. I can honestly say that when we spring forward, it is my LEAST favorite time of the year. Seriously, it feels like I have jet lag for an entire week. Now I get it that we all like more daylight and with the winter we’ve had this year, it’s especially welcome. But why can’t someone come up with a better way to do this. Unfortunately I am no time continuum expert but surely our government has done a study on this (I mean we have studies on why dogs bark for goodness sake, so why not this?!?!)

Since this is not my area of expertise, the best I could come up with was to subtract ten minutes from each day for six days so that the change happens more slowly and doesn’t screw up my sleep as much. Seriously, it’s be SO MUCH gentler if it happened gradually. This situation has bothered me so much, that I have contemplated running for president on this principle alone. I think I’d have a pretty good shot… especially when you consider there was no social media when I was in my, ummmm, more adventurous stage (good wording there huh?!?!) I might also have to run with the side slogan of “you can’t prove that”… What??? You think that might do more damage than good… well we’ll just see about that. In the mean time, I already need a nap.

Longing for Masters Week!!

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Yes it’s here… that time of year when I am REALLY tired of winter but spring is still a long way away. I find myself not only looking at the spring fashions wishing it were warm enough to at least wear a short sleeve shirt but longing for Masters week. In this part of the world, we begin the countdown to Masters pretty early for several reasons. First, it is the official beginning of spring to all of us in the Augusta area. Second, tons of people rent their house out so they have to get it Masters ready. Meaning the house looks like it is going to be photographed for a magazine (reason #4,563 why we don’t rent!!) And third, it is spring break.

Yes, you will NEVER EVER hear of a spring break in the Augusta area occurring any time other than Masters week. Now to those of you not steeped in Masters tradition, that means our spring break always starts on Monday following the first Sunday in April because Masters ALWAYS ends on the second Sunday in April (more than you ever cared to know? You’re welcome!) The good news about this is that you can plan your spring break years in advance resting in the knowledge that it WILL be that particular week. The bad news? It is so hard to wait that long for spring break. Especially when your college kids are enjoying an early March spring break.

For years we stayed in town for Masters week because, uh, I worked there and taking vacation that week was really frowned upon by the establishment. WHAT?!?! This past year, Tim and I had tournament badges so I REALLY wanted to get to go as just a normal person (I admit, it’s a stretch for me to be normal but I gave it my best shot.) So hubby and I have been torn this year, should we stay or should we head out of town??? Naturally, there are tons of fun things to do in town Masters week but there are also about a million extra people. That’s the rub, stay and play with a million of my closest friends or get out of town and enjoy peace and quiet… hmmmm… it really is a harder decision than you can imagine. And when we decide, I’ll be sure and let you know.

Black Monday

An oldie but a goodie...

An oldie but a goodie…

It’s a REALLY sad day in my house…one I dread for months. No, it’s not the day the boys go back to school it is WAY worse. It’s the very last College football game for seven months. WHAT?!?! Now it’s true, I have plenty in my life to keep me occupied. But why does college football have to end just when the weather gets so cold, grey and windy? At least during the spring and summer, we have the sunshine and being outdoors to keep us occupied but winter? Yeah, nothing.

It’s funny because by this point in the year Chris Fowler, Lee Corso, Kirk Herbstreit, Desmond Howard and David Pollack feel like family we’ve spent so much time together!! And yes, like any family, we have had our differences (especially with you Herbbie! Don’t act like you didn’t pick against me on purpose…I know you did.) But as I’ve told you before my TV practically turns itself on for College Game Day every Saturday morning. I admit I don’t sit down and watch every second but it’s perfect for me as I prepare our game day noshes. It’s like my own game day ritual only I get to stay warm/cool and then enjoy a seat on the fifty yard line for every game.

So I will just endeavor to enjoy tonight’s game to the fullest. We’ll have our classic game day foods, we’ll all be in our spots and, if our luck holds, it will be a good, close game. (Yeah, when you don’t have a dog in the hunt a close game is WAY more fun… sorry Auburn & Florida State fans.) Just make sure you don’t call me early in the morning… because not only will I be tired from staying up so late because of the five overtimes (my blog, my dream) but I can promise I’ll also be in a mood so bad it make take more than two cups of coffee. Yes, I eventually get over the fact that the college football season is over… but people, let’s keep it real… it’s going to take a while!

There’s a Reason I’m a Southern Gal

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I live in the south for a reason. That reason has nothing to do with culture, traditions or even a deep commitment to my southern roots. It’s a simple reason really, I HATE COLD WEATHER. Yep, not a fan of anything to do with the cold like blustery winds, icy breath, cold hands or chapped lips. I avoid it like the plague and when it does get cold, I am the girl you see who is not wearing a coat because, well, that is the real reason I hate the cold: COATS.

Coats are not comfortable nor are they easy to wear. I mean you have to find one that is large enough to fit layers of warm clothes underneath yet doesn’t make you feel 25lbs heavier. And that’s hard because when you are shopping for said coat, you’re typically not layered up, so you either get one TOO big or TOO small. Oh sure you can find a super cute coat… on the hanger!! But when you put it on over your winter clothes, you feel like the kid brother from A Christmas Story (yes, that kid who cannot put his arms down because he’s so bundled up!) Sure it’s funny on TV but not so much when it’s you… in real life.

I do my every loving best to avoid any city where I have to wear a coat because let’s pretend you find a super cute coat that fits great (work with me here people) once you get where you are going, you have to take said coat off and put it somewhere. All good so far, but then you leave (and if you are me) you get home only to realize your coat did not travel home with you… um, awkward. Yes I’m an adult and no, apparently I cannot keep up with my clothes. Then not only have I lost my super cute coat but I lose all kinds of face with my kids because don’t forget I’m the one who spent YEARS fussing at them for not being able to keep up with their book bag, shoes, phone, keys, COAT.

So, saving face may be the real reason you’ll find me living and loving a city that’s winter temps hover in the “you don’t need a coat” zone. A city where I can get away with just wearing cute winter clothes and normal shoes. A city where my only outside winter activity can be accomplished with running tights, wool socks and a few layered shirts. A city where cold simply means I can pull out my boots and skinny cords. Yes, dear friends, I live in the south for a reason: I cannot keep up with my coat. But do me a favor, don’t tell my sons, K?